So my darlings you can see I have been just a bit busy. So let’s start with my Divorce. I wonder what the actual definition in the dictionary is. I would say kill the mother ****** before he kills you. My divorce was with my European Distributor, we were together for almost 14 years, my real husband and I were married 17 years, you know we stick it out, as we all believe in happy forever after, until it’s not humanly possible to continue one more day. Of course it cost me money, it always does when you are the money maker, but in the end, it’s like paying for your freedom. In my faith, money is like grass… it keeps growing. But, as they say… free at last. I have to think everyone feels better after the big D, it takes time, but then your new happier life takes shape, and the old fades into not even a memory…
GREY IS THE NEW BLONDE
It seems like hair is not like grass, but like dry desert bush, blowing away in the wind. After trying to be Marilyn Monroe for 12 years or more, I have had with my bangs break off three times, and my whole pony tail just vanish into thin air.
I went from double processing (really bad, expensive idea and not mine) to single process, to never blow drying, to never using a hot iron, my hair decided to jump ship anyway. As my housekeeper says “big roads everywhere”. So, thanks to Dr. Catherine, I have been taking Biotin since February, and it is growing back little black hairs, like a 4th grade science project. I am bi-colored now. I am holding onto the blonde as long as possible…I have now embraced the color grey, and the positive side is that I can buy a whole new wardrobe based on what goes with grey, and of course more lipsticks.
AND AS YOU AGE; THINGS START CHANGING, BUT NO ONE TELLS YOU….
So the things no one tells you as you get older….. no one for sure told me that at 40 my vision was going to rapidly disappear. And for the next 22 years I would be collecting the most glamorous eyeglass frames in the world, and then finally try contacts, and then just finally give up. As heavy eye makeup + contacts = severe eye infections.
Now at 62…which we all know is the new 42 or the minimum age limit we can date some hottie…my foot starts getting a red spot when I take off my shoes. I cannot figure this one out, as we all know I make the most comfortable shoes in the world. It’s happening with all my flats that are specifically designed to be super comfy. So off to a foot doctor where I hear this ugly word BUNION! Ech! It’s only a millimeter spot on each foot. You need a magnifying glass. But after the x-rays, I see clearly (with Chanel glasses) my toes are taking right and left turns, the wrong way. My doctor, Dr. Greg Rock, who is really handsome, gives me this whole speech, that it is not going to hurt, he has developed a method of no pain and in 6 weeks I will be wearing regular shoes. So, I went in and did it, and guess what? It absolutely did not hurt! Three weeks after, I am wearing sneakers (leopard and gold) and waiting patiently for my big Beverly Feldman shoe day.
I am sure you want his number: 212 397 3111. Say I recommended you. By the way, I asked him if I got this from all my swimming and exercising, and he said no. Actually, when he opened it up I had a tremendous amount of arthritis. Oy Gevalt. What is happening to my body?
THE BEST PSYCHIC IN NYC
Did I mention psychics? Well, Frank Andrews is back in town, that’s New York City Town. Frank is the number one. The celebrity psychic of the last 30 years (minus the last 5, when he thought he should be a live in nanny/grandfather). I guess he did not read his own future, as he came back to the city, and now only calls them on Sundays.
Everything he ever told me came true. I am sure you want his number? But this one you have to write in and actually ask me. He is still overbooked and selective.
MIRACLE WEIGHT LOSS: 8 MONTHS 13 POUNDS!
Well, maybe the arthritis helped me lose weight? Who knows but 13 pounds vanished. And not just like that! 8 months of diet jail. Not going out, and tracking my points daily with Weight Watchers online. But it took a really fast track, when Frank told me I was going to meet a rich business man, and then several days after, I did, and we have expected rendezvous in 17 days. The date was made was 3 weeks ago. From the minute I got the call, my hunger stopped. Amazing isn’t it when you think you have to get undressed in front of a new lover, your brain just disconnects with your stomach. I actually thought I had a disease as I just could not eat.
I think when the day comes I may cancel as I would just rather lose the weight than have all that craziness back in my life….but I would like your opinion. Should I do it or not?
It would certainly make my next collection much more sexy, which is a good thing……….
My Book Of The Month: World Without End
(A Desperate Housewives 1200 page story set in England in the 14th century)
Remember ¨too much is not enough¨
